How Paul Wakes Up in the Morning
by Furyfur
Summary: Paul wakes up to a surprise every morning. No, it does not repeat the same chapter in all the chapters. Rated K cause I was tired of K. More chaps 2 come. For fun, flames are welcome for once. Give me ideas in reviews. If u have any! ;D I HATE PAUL!
1. Chapter 1

How Paul Wakes Up in the Morning

By MEEEEE!!!!!!

Note to flamers- This was totally for fun because I was bored! DO NOT flame me about how it's not funny. I KNOW it's not funny. Also, HI flareon200 AND KaYlAhEe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody flame me!!! =cries= OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That night…  =insert dramatic music here=

Chimchar groaned. Every pokemon that stayed with pokemon trainer Paul for one night knew about all the terrible things that happened in the morning. Paul was NOT a morning person. All of his pokemon were settling into bed, every one of them terrified for what would happen when the sun came up.

"One of you pathetic freaks wake me up early." Paul murmured. Everyone looked horrified. Why was this world so freaking cruel???

The next morning… =even MORE dramatic music here=

Meowth poked the side of Paul's head. "Hey…… emo twerp……wake up……gimmie ya chimchar…."

Paul groaned in annoyance, grabbed Chimchar, hurled him at Meowth, then pulled the covers over his head. Meowth looked confused about how the emo twerp had given up so easy, and then it hit him.

_Hey, I don't care!!!_ Meowth thought, smiling to himself. He looked up as a pidgeot flew by and grabbed onto its leg.

"PIDGEOT PIDGEOT PIDGEOT!!!!!!!!!!" It screeched =translation- WHAT IN THE WORLD GET OFF ME THIS IS SO PIDGEOT ABUSE!!!= Meowth hung on and used it as transportation to get back to Jessie and James-with Chimchar.

A few hours later Paul opened his eyes. "Where's Chimchar?" he asked while yawning. All the other pokemon glanced at each other nervously. Did he know that he had completely just given Chimchar away?

Paul looked around. "Oh, right. I gave him to Team Rocket." He smirked and lay down for the umpteenth time. "Good thing, too. That's a load off of my mind. One less pathetic wanna-be to worry about." His pokemon stared at him………………………………..then started to back away slowly.

Back with Chimchar… =not really dramatic music here=

"I swear ya guys da emo twerp literally threw da Chimchar at me! It was as easy as cake!" Meowth said cheerily.

James looked bored. "I think the term is as easy as pie…" He mumbled. Jessie shared his 'eager disbelief.'

Meowth looked irritated. "Pie, cake, what's da difference? I swear, da emo twerp's practically given his pokemon away! We should get all da others while he's still in a cruddy mood! WHAT YA STANDIN AROUND FOR?????????"

Jessie groaned. "But Meoooooowth….we go through this eeeeveeeery moooooorniiiing… The emo twerp always gets his pooooookemon baaaaaack…" She whined.

"Quit your whinin I swear he's stuck in his terrible mood this time!!!!" Meowth yelled at Jessie. Her and James sat bolt upright at Meowth's yelling. **(A/N: I KNOW that Meowth spells a lot of stuff wrong. That's just how he pronounces it.)**

"Well what are we gonna do then?" James rolled his eyes, pretending to care. Jessie elbowed him and gave him a look that said, 'Don't freaking kill Meowth's pride.' James recoiled.

"We gonna walk in der an ask for his pokemon, that's what we gonna do!" Meowth cheered, optimistic for no apparent reason. "Well?? What you goofs standin der for??? LET'S GO!!!"

Back with Paul… =twinkle, twinkle, little… Ack! Wrong CD!!!=

Paul sat up again. "I guess we should go look for him…" Paul started to groan, sort of complaining, when Team Rocket burst through the entrance of the tent. _Just on time…_ Paul thought. Did they have to go through this every day?

"Prepare for trouble…"

"Yea, yea, we do this every freaking day. Just give me Chimchar and I won't kill you." Paul boomed, not really trying to sound convincing. Jessie and James looked about ready to throw him Chimchar, but Meowth wasn't about to give up yet.

"I don't think so, emo twerp! Wer gonna get all a ya pokemon then throw a big victory party, then I'll be da top cat an not dat freaking Persian! Now hand em' ova!" Meowth yelled, apparently thinking he had already won.

"Uh huh, yea, sure." Paul smirked. "But you have to earn them. Gliscor, GO!!" A big, purple and black, =scary!= bat exploded out of the pokeball.

"Gliscor, Gliscor!" It taunted. =translation: Bring it on, alley cat.=

"Meowth, you have to battle it!!!" Jessie screamed.

"Why???" Meowth yelled back.

"I dunno, just cause! The readers would probably dig it if you died, anyway!!!"

Meowth gulped and glared directly into Paul's Gliscor's eyes. James, apparently trying to act like the Hearthome city mayor out of nowhere, flung both of his hands up in the air and yelled, "Battle begin!" Jessie gave him a look that said, 'where did that come from?' James didn't know.

Gliscor began…………………………dancing the tango. =I bet you didn't expect that lolz= Meowth stared in horror. _Oh crap he's good!!!_ Meowth thought, panicking. Almost immediately he threw himself into a disco, but it ended out as sort of a combination of the disco and the wave. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Meowth cried for his life, but it was too late. He had embarrassed himself to maximum, and Gliscor spun over too him, waltz style, using a claw to crush Meowth into the dirt. What? You were expecting a real battle? No, Meowth and Gliscor settle things with a dance competition.

Paul called his Gliscor back in. "You call that the tango? You looked like a frog in a blender."

"WAIT!!!" James shouted. Everyone looked at him. "This is terrible! How do we make a decent exit now? He didn't blast us off!" Jessie slapped her forehead in James's ignorance.

"Like THIS!!!!" She shouted, kicking James in the behind. He was sent off into the horizon, then Jessie did Meowth. Then she shrugged her shoulders and got into the balloon.

"Aw, great! Now I have to train Chimchar!" Paul shouted toward the sky, ripping hair off of his head.

Chimchar sighed. _Every, freaking day…_he thought.

**Nice way to end a story, huh? Hahaha I know it sucks, but it was for fun. For once I'm welcoming flames! In case you were wondering, no. I do NOT think this is a good fic in the least. Buh-Byes!~**


	2. Chapter 2

**How Paul Wakes up in the Morning**

**The incredibly terrible fanfiction**

**No, I do not think this is funny. Flames are welcome for once.**

**Now I'm gonna write some squiggles! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ !!! Wasn't that fun?**

**Note- This chapter starts out in Paul's dream. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"_You!" Paul shouted accusingly at the 1960's dude with a black mustache and golden afro. "You stole my grandfather's gummy bears!"_

_The man laughed wickedly. "Ah, and they were good, too." Paul cringed. Had he already eaten them? The man continued, "If you want your precious gummy bears back, you must fight me for them! I will not give up easily, as these gummy bears hold the secrets of the universe!"_

"_Then I shall!" Paul yelled as he attacked the man, beating him with a five-foot long burrito. The man shrieked in pain as little bits got into his eyes._

"_NOOOO!!!" The man screamed toward the sky as he began to die. He chose his last words carefully, "If you think this is over, Oh Incredibly Awesome One, you are wrong! I lay upon you, The Curse Of A Thousand Afros! You will begin to transform into an Afro-ian like me, then I will take over your body! Together we will rule the world!!!"_

Paul woke up, startled. _Odd dream…_He thought. "Eh, I've had odder," He said out loud without realizing it. Chimchar took one look at him and ran away, screaming. The rest of his pokemon stared at him like he was a retard all day. Since they wouldn't leave him alone, he called them back to their pokeballs and went for a walk. Guess who he should run into?

"OH MY GOD!!!" Ash shrieked. "IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE EVIL GREEN HIPPIES!!!" He began to run around in circles, screaming. Paul looked around, remembering his dream. No hippies.

Dawn walked up to him and stared into Paul's eyes. "It's not an evil hippie attack, It's Paul!"

Brock stared at her. "How do you know, Dawn?"

"What are you pathetic freaks talking about?" Paul asked.

Ash stopped running in circles and leaned up uncomfortably close to Paul. "It's not Paul. It can't be. How do you know?"

Dawn grinned. "Woman's instinct," she answered.

"What. Are. You. Talking. About!?" Paul yelled, annoyed.

"Look," Dawn held up a small mirror decorated with small pink and yellow flowers. Paul froze. He stayed in that position for a while, then touched his head. It was an explosion of an afro…a _green_ afro. It was bigger than his own head, and greener than cabbage.

Paul was speechless. When he snapped out of it, he shrieked, "MY HAIR!!! IT'S…IT'S…NOT MY HAIR ANYMORE!!!"

"What did you DO!?" Brock eyed Paul's hair like it was a flesh-eating spider. A _green_ flesh-eating spider.

"I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL NOW!!!" Paul screamed, unable to hide his fury. "GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!"

Everybody tugged at Paul's hair for about half an hour, as if it had a chanceof coming off. "I THINK SOMEONE DYED MY HAIR!!!" Paul jumped three feet in the air, flailing his arms. =you can imagine how that looked.= Instantly, Paul's dream came back to him. Soon the man would take over his body and make him destroy humanity, or worse, keep the afro.

"Let me guess." Dawn began. "You had a dream about a man with a black mustache and a golden afro that held the power to control will. There was a great battle concerning the Gummy Bears of Life, and in the end you killed him. Then he put the Curse of a Million Afros on you. Am I right?"

Paul stared at her in disbelief. "Actually it was the Curse of a _Thousand _Afros. Other than that…I guess you're right…" Dawn smiled like she had eaten a cat. =I don't get that part= Ash and Brock stared at her.

"Dawn…how did you know that?" Brock said in sort of a whisper.

"I told you, woman's instinct!"

"Jeez, can we just get on with helping me get my hair back to normal???"

"Sorry, sorry. Gosh. We don't know what to do." Ash muttered.

"You never know what to do! Argh! You're all so lame!" Paul stormed away, his mind buzzing. Then, he got an incredible idea. And it pained him to say it, but he got it from Dawn. =dun dun duuuuuuuun…=

To be continued…immediately

Paul walked into Ash and Co.'s camp, feeling good about himself. Ash, Brock, and Dawn stared at him oddly.

"Paul…your hair…" Ash began, dumbfounded.

"Yea. It's awesome, isn't it?" Paul smirked, sort of laughing.

"How is it back to normal?"

Paul smiled evilly and crossed his arms. "Man's instinct."

Dawn grinned. "Let me guess. You were out in the forest and…"

**The end! It's not funny, I know, I know… Flame if you want to. My favorite part of this was the dream. Don't ask what Paul did, cause I'm not going to tell you. Dawn was right, though. Buh~Bye!*****


	3. Chapter 3

**How Paul Wakes up in the Morning**

**By guess who? Meee!!!**

**Yea, I know it's not really funny. It's not supposed to be. Flames are welcome.**

**Note- The idea for this chapter is ****Jane and the dragons****. Don't ask me about it, because I swear to god I won't be able to answer any questions. Sorry, but I have terrible grammar skills. MORE SQUIGGLES~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~!!!! ;) R&R!!!**

Paul, for some reason, had a really rough night. He felt as if he was sleeping on cement. Paul was still asleep when he felt something tugging at his hair. _For gosh sake, why must all of this happen to me!?_ He thought. Paul looked up, expecting to see Meowth on his head trying to wake him up and ask for his Chimchar, but instead he saw a Monferno!

"WHAT THE HECK??? GET OFF OF ME!!!" Paul shouted at the Monferno, not even taking a second to wonder why it climbed on top of him while he was sleeping. Paul froze and looked around.

He was inside a metal cage with a big tree inside of it. There were about four Monferno in the tree, not including the one that climbed on top of him. At the top of the cage was a sign that had huge, bulky letters that spelled out "Monferno." Then he noticed that he had a big yellow tag hanging from his ear that said "Species Unknown."

A little girl holding her mom's hand stared at him as she walked by. "Mommy, what is that thing?" The little girl asked her mom. The mom stared at him, apparently realizing he was a human, and said, "I don't know but it's HIDEOUS! Let's go see the Piplups."

Paul panicked as the horrible truth hit him. He was in a ZOO!!! That was worse than a green afro! Wait, maybe he was going a little too far with that…

_**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**_

_Day five…I think._ Paul wrote in the dirt with a stick. _Oh, wait. No. It's only been like 20 minutes. Sorry._ Paul put down the stick and sighed. The Monferno that had found it's way onto his back last night jumped down from a branch and landed right in front of Paul.

"Ferno ferno monferno!" It yelled at Paul. =Translation- C'mon. We're busting you out of here.=

For some odd reason, Paul understood. Weird. The Monferno started to tell him the plan that all the pokemon in the zoo were afraid to try. When it was finished, it seemed risky and impossible. Unfortunately, Paul was desperate for a plan to get out. He had told the Monferno that he had a Chimchar to feed. =it was a lie. Since when does Paul feed his pokemon?=

The Monferno started to prepare for the escape, which the Monferno called , 'The Great Escape Involving Mud and Popcorn.' Paul didn't get the name, but he didn't argue. He took a handful of dirt and smeared it all over his face, in a bad imitation of something he saw on TV, while he was 'training.' The Monferno stared at him like he was a freak.

One Monferno was digging a huge hole. All of the Monferno's hopes of getting out depended on that hole. When it was done, it reached the other side of the cage. Yet, nobody noticed it. Odd.

"Ferno fern!" One Monferno said to the one who had dug the hole. =translation- nice work= Next, the Monferno that dug the hole took out a chainsaw and carved out a hole in the roof of the cage. I took about five seconds, as digging the hole took an hour.

The Monferno climbed out of the hole in the roof; paying no attention to the hole they had spent an hour digging. Still, no one noticed the giant hole or the Monferno and Paul escaping. Paul had gathered all the loose dirt they had made while digging the hole and began to carry it out of the cage. Still nobody noticed.

The Monferno looked out of the hole in the roof. Freedom. Finally. They grabbed as much dirt as they could from what Paul was carrying, and threw it at humans walking by. They screamed and ran, yet no one noticed the hole. Weird.

Next, all the Monferno and Paul ran out of the zoo screaming. When they had finally made it out, after an extremely long 20 minutes, they began to celebrate. Paul stopped one of the Monferno.

"If we called this The Great Escape Involving Mud and Popcorn, where's the popcorn?" he asked.

The Monferno got a satisfied look on his face and gave Paul some popcorn that appeared out of nowhere.

_**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**_

"Paul! It's so freaking kawii to see you!" Screamed Dawn as they 'accidentally' ran into each other. Dawn was completely unaware that she had said kawii and freaking.

Ash stared at Paul's mud-smeared face. "What the heck…?"

Brock completed his question. "What the heck did you do to yourself?"

Paul was about to explain, but Dawn stopped him. "Let me guess. You woke up in a zoo in a cage with Monferno, and formed a plan with them called The Great Escape Involving Mud and Popcorn. It worked and nobody noticed anything and you didn't use the hole for some odd reason."

Paul stared at her. "Two questions. Number one: How do you know everything? Number two: How could you tell?"

"I'll ignore the first question because you know what the answer is. I know because you still have the 'Species Unknown' tag on your ear."

"Genius," Paul muttered. Another completely normal day. At least he had some popcorn.

**The end! I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen in the next chapter. Give me a freaking break. Thank you ****Jane and the dragons****, and um… flames are welcome, ideas are welcome, opera is NOT welcome, I suck at writing and grammar, I do not update fast, and I do not think this is funny. =gasp, gasp= So Buh~Byes! ~Furyfur**


	4. Chapter 4

How Paul Wakes Up in the Morning

**Take a guess who wrote this. I DID!!!**

What up, peeps! I'm a really slow updater, huh? You know I am. So, flames are completely welcome. Warning: This is the exact opposite of funny. Walk away before your life as you know it is over. R&R for StarClan's sake! Ahem, sorry. I'm a warriors fan.

Paul rolled over and landed on something cold and gooey. Because gooey is a funny word. Live with it. After lying pretty much unconscious for a few seconds, Paul jumped up in surprise. He was lying in mud. A whole field of mud. There were trees everywhere, too. Paul stared in horror. A feeling in his gut told him he wasn't in the pokemon center.

Paul jumped up and started to walk around. Which was odd, because it usually took him hours to get up. Reiji used to yell at him every day for missing school, but eventually Paul just 'dropped out.' And for those of you that have lost their brain because of reading my pokemon stories, Reiji still has no idea that Paul quit school. If quit is the right word.

Flashback…

"_Excuse me, teacher, but how did Paul get blasted off into space?"_

"_Evil space cows didn't want to eat him. But don't worry. He'll always be in our hearts."_

Paul smiled at the memory. Even now, it seemed beautiful. Anyway, he was still walking.

A few minutes later he ran into a girl. Her hair was sticking up in odd angles and she was giggling like mad. Paul knew for a fact that the story wasn't self-inserted, even though all of Furyfur's other stories were. All two of them.

The girl laughed. "Finally, I, Jane, have found the pokemon I've been looking for!" She laughed evilly and threw out a Raquaza. "I will finally have a Grandbull at last!"

Paul sweat dropped, even though his personality was already a sweat drop. He wasn't sure about pokemon, but he knew for a fact that he wasn't a Grandbull. All on the fact that he had taken a personality test on the Internet, and it said he was a Slowking.

"Now, Cuddles, use Super Strong Attack Move That I Taught You and Nobody Else Knows About but it Hurts!" The girl jabbed her arm forward as Paul thought he would have a mental breakdown at the long name. The Raquaza, apparently nicknamed Cuddles, lunged forward and swallowed Paul. As you could've guessed, he did have a mental breakdown, or perhaps a mental failure, and fainted out of unsmartness. That was unusual, since he was so freaking fearsome. And unsmartness wasn't a word. Ah! The point is he fainted!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Paul woke up once again, still in a pile of mud. Something didn't smell like mud, though. Oh well. He had no idea about getting out of the Raquaza also known as Cuddles. Cuddles. It made him want to puke. Puke all over whatever he was standing in. Whatever it was.

And, of course, Paul continued walking. It wasn't long before he ran into another trainer. "Oh my freaking god, Starly! It's a Grandbull! I didn't know we had these in Sinnoh!" said the trainer. "It's hideous, but let's capture it anyway! Random idiotic sentence!" The kid cried as his Starly used Aerial Ace on him. Paul grunted as the stupid bird shoved its beak into his stomach, then, as you all knew he would do, ran.

As Paul ran, he ran into _another_ trainer. "Glameow! A Grandbull! Eew! Code three*!" She screamed and tried to run, but Paul hurled himself in front of her and stopped her.

"Listen, little girl. I don't know why people think I'm a Grandbull, but I'm a human! And what the heck is code three?" He shouted into her face.

"You can find the meaning of code three at the end of the fic. You were saying?" She smiled sweetly.

"Where am I, you little-"

"You're in the Safari Zone."

"The _Safari Zone_??? Why is it that whenever I fall asleep, I wake up somewhere else???"

"Why are you asking me?"

"I swear on my brother's grave, I'm going to find out and stop it!"

Reiji walked in out of nowhere. "But I'm not dead! You can't swear on my grave if I don't have one!"

Paul glared at him. "We can fix that." Reiji freaked out and ran.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Paul started to talk to himself. "If there's been a scene change, why couldn't I just run out of here with Reiji? Oh yeah. That's right. Because I hate Reiji." Paul sighed and looked around. This was usually the time something popped out of nowhere and chewed him to pieces. Maybe not this time. _Yeah, keep dreaming, Paul._ He thought.

The crazy trainer that had attacked him first ran over to him, of course, out of nowhere. "Guess what, Paul?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "I'm high on the sugar Furyfur gave me!" She laughed and ran around in circles. Her sidekick, Smokey, put magical pixie dust on Paul. A laptop appeared out of nowhere. Then they both disappeared into thin air. That was odd.

On the laptop screen, someone had Googled 'sleepwalking.' Paul didn't have time for this! He had to figure out why he was waking up in random places every morning! He shrugged his shoulders and read about sleepwalking.

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Well, that was a good fifty seconds out of his life. Maybe he should start reading now. Nah. Reading never did anything for him. He closed the laptop and it disappeared into thin air. Just like everything else always did. Paul scratched his head. He had to think about getting a life.

As you could probably guess, Paul kept walking. If you couldn't, read a book and try using your brain. It works for most people.

Well, this chapter is sort of easy to figure out so I'll give you something you won't expect. Reiji flew through the air in a Superman costume and landed on Paul giving him a concussion! Yeah, concussion…

"Paul! Long time no see!" Reiji yelled rather loudly. "Guess what!? I got a real job!"

Paul gaped. "No! You got a real job??? Who are you and what have you done with Reiji???" Paul screamed. Then instantly calmed down, cause he was awesome that way. "What job?"

"I got a job at Shattered Dreams Come True R Us! I told them I wanted to be Superman ever since I was a kid, and they gave me the power to fly! Better yet, THIS AWESOME COSTUME!!!"

Paul slapped his forehead. "You should've told them you wanted to know two plus two since you were a kid!" he snapped.

"I already do," Reiji boasted. "Every living thing knows that two plus two is green!"

Paul groaned. "You stupid animal! Two plus two is seven!" he yelled. Reiji flew away leaving Paul to worry about his concussion. _Is this chapter going ANYWHERE???_ He screamed inside his mind. He knew the answer was no, but he might as well ask anyway.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

By then, Paul had lost a good 70% of his brainpower and one brain cell. One brain cell? That was more then half of his brain!

Really though, his bones were aching and he felt like he was going to die. Paul figured the only way to relieve it all was to end this suckish chapter. So he did. He walked over to a tree and pulled an invisible lever.

**That's like one of the best ways to end a chapter, huh? Told you it wasn't funny! So anyway, Paul walked out of the Safari Zone unharmed. I couldn't show that. It has no humor or pain to it at all! So any crud, flames are welcome, for gosh dang sake it's not funny, I suck at all things grammar, and please R&R. What? No threat? ~Furyfur**


	5. Chapter 5

**How Paul Wakes Up in the Morning**

**Hello! The idea for this chapter was also by ****Jane and the dragons****! So will the next one! And probably the one after that, but I'm not sure! So READ AND SHUT UP!!!!! Ahem, sorry. Flames are welcome, I don't think it's funny, =for those of you who do think it's funny, check your monitor. It's obviously not working right= and for StarCla- …for gosh sake! R&R!!!!!!!!**

Paul stirred and woke, for the 432,859,013th time. Aren't random numbers great? So, um, the point is he woke up. And when he woke up, everything seemed bigger. That didn't usually happen. He also felt a hot sensation on the…

Paul jumped up realizing something wasn't normal. He looked in a mirror, seeing the most horrible thing he had ever saw. Yes, more horrifying than Dawn. And hippies. And Cuddles the Raquaza that that crazy chick had. Even more horrifying than the author girl's terrible grammar! That means it was _really_ horrifying!

Paul was a Chimchar! He was an orange monkey with a ball of fire for a tail and everything! Pathetic! Paul? A _Chimchar_??? Not even. He slapped his forehead, grumbling to himself about how he needed a vacation, when a huge purple figure loomed over him. Uh-oh. If it was purple, it couldn't be good. Trust me. Paul was purple. He knew.

Paul looked up and saw another horrifying thing! Not as horrifying as him being a Chimchar, but it was horrifying. Just sort of semi-horrifying. It was horrible, though. Anyway, the semi-horrifying thing was himself. I _told you_ it was horrifying! Paul loomed over Paul. =cough= This might get a little confusing…

The human Paul looked down at the Chimchar Paul. "What the heck? Is that me?" the human Paul said. The real Paul, also known as the Chimchar Paul, was hurled into shock as he figured out what had happened while he was asleep last night.

Paul, the awesomest, fearsomest, bestest living being in the entire universe, and Chimchar, the lowly, unworthy thing, had switched places! As I said before, Paul was hurled into shock. Not the good kind of shock.

And he stayed in shock.

Still in shock…

As you can tell, I have terrible writing skills. That's why Paul was still in shock.

This might go on for a while.

…

…

…

Okay! Shock is over! Did you have a fun time? No? Then go away, no one wants you here anyway. Woops! Back to the story!

The human Paul seemed to be a little shocked too. "I think I'm a human," it said in awe. Not really awe, just…just…yeah. Awe. It was Awe. So, the human Paul said it in awe. =clears throat= Let's keep it moving, shall we?

"Of course, you fat, lazy, little animal!" Paul screeched at the top of his lungs. He continued yelling at…himself… for quite a bit of time, stomping his feet and shaking his fist in the air. Chimchar, also known as the human Paul, just stared at him like he was a freak. Then, he just got this ridiculous, stupid smile on his face.

"You're Paul, aren't you? We switched places, didn't we? Now I can speak English and you can't," he laughed as if it was funny. "I can't understand a word you're saying." He laughed for a while, with Paul standing there, steaming up. "I guess this means I'm your trainer!" Chimchar grinned. Paul felt faint at the idea. And since he did what he wanted to, Paul fainted. Again.

_January…_

_February…_

_Since this already happened in Twilight, I won't do it again here._

Paul woke up in a place he had never seen before._ Gosh kuso, not again…_ he thought. It was the oddest thing he had ever seen. It was black. Pitch black. Black with big, green cubes floating around everywhere. Paul was lying down on a big green block, too. It was like a different dimension. Paul got mad and threw a tantrum. He didn't _want_ to be in a different dimension!

Then it hit him, like a…a…it hit him like…a…snowball? Whatever. It just hit him. He was inside Chimchar's pokeball! Gosh kuso, that didn't usually happen. Just when Paul didn't think it could get any worse, his life flashed before his eyes. Wait, what life? Oh, never mind. You get the point. In a second, Paul was out of the pokeball and in the real world.

"Hello, Paul," Chimchar laughed. "Are you ready for training? Or should I say payback? Hmm…" he jabbed his fist forward, as if calling an attack, but instead screamed, "Chimchar! Go die in a hole!" Paul found himself chuckling stupidly at his 'command.' He didn't take orders from a pokemon. Especially not Chimchar. Why, one time he-

Paul was knocked out of his memory when Chimchar grabbed him by the waist and chucked him into a hole. THEN he blacked out. See? It happened the other way around this time! =giggles=

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Paul woke with a start at the bottom of the dark hole. If it weren't for the fire on his tail, he wouldn't be able to see his hand in front of his face. Err, paw. He couldn't see his paw in front of his face. =cough= Yeah, that's it. So, the ball of fire on his butt gave him the beautiful gift of light and vision. Sound wrong yet? Well, it will. Paul looked up. The hole's entrance had been covered by a rock. "The world hates me!" Paul yelled up to the rock.

A familiar voice answered. "Paul? Is that you? It's me, Reiji. You switched places with your Chimchar! How'd you get down in this hole?"

"How'd I…Chimchar threw me, you big oaf!"

"Sorry, Paul, but I can't understand a word you're saying."

"He's trying to say he doesn't know, Reiji." Chimchar said.

"Say what now? GET ME UP THERE!!!"

"He's yelling something."

"I can see that, Chimchar. Paul, use Flamethrower to move this rock!" Reiji called.

"HOW???"

"He doesn't know how. Just focus in and concentrate! It'll come to you!" Paul couldn't see it, but he was sure Chimchar was hiding an evil grin. Paul took a deep breath and exhaled as hard as he could.

Unfortunately, all he got was hot air, no fire. "This is all a load of…"

_Back at ground level…_

"Char chim! Chimchar chim Chimchar! Char char!"

"You speak Chimchar. What'd he say?" Reiji said to Chimchar.

"He said it was a load of…"

Reiji's eyes widened. "Chimchar, shush! I get it, I get it!"

_Back with Paul…_

Paul attempted Flamethrower again. How did Chimchar do it? Chimchar's voice…well, actually it was Paul's voice…piped up. "Hey, Paul. You keep trying Flamethrower but you can't do it. Who's the pathetic one now?" Paul felt and enraged feeling flow through him. He pointed his head at the rock and released fiery death from his mouth. It burned the rock to cinders. He would've breathed fire even if he wasn't a Chimchar, because _nobody _calls Paul pathetic. And breathing fire felt cool.

Paul felt exhaustion run through him. He fell backwards and lulled himself into a deep sleep.

_Skip all the scene change stuff, because the point is he was asleep for a long time!_

Paul woke and rubbed his eyes with one hand. Both of his eyes jolted open. His hand had all four fingers and no hair. He was back to his normal body! He got up and stretched, which was odd for him. Chimchar walked up to him, a stupid grin on his face. He obviously remembered it clearly. Paul smirked, too. As he was about to tell the monkey off, all that came from his mouth was, "Chim chim Chimchar." Paul immediately covered his mouth with both hands. Chimchar grinned and used Flamethrower.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Apparently Paul will have something to remind him of this moment. His voice. Chimchar rules and Paul sucks! All the stuff I said before and bye! ~Furyfur**


	6. Chapter 6

**How Paul Wakes Up in the Morning**

**by J.K. Rowling…Just kidding. By me.**

**A/N: Reviving this dead fic! Super happy about it, too, 'cuz I think my writing has improved over the year it's been! Anyway, the idea for this chapter is from ****Furryfur****. It's kinda a crossover. And while we're on the topic of advertising…I put LTP back up on a different site. Here' the link: .?showtopic=322**

Paul blinked his eyes open, dreading the hot feeling of sunlight hitting his eyes. "Ugh, I hate Mond-"

"AMUUUUUU!" a voice shouted. Paul's eyes split open instantly, and he saw the most amazing thing in his life: A tiny cheerleader. Complete with tiny pink pompoms. Had he died and gone to Heaven? Or was he just dreaming about Dawn again?

"Amu, you slept for hours and hours! You gotta wake up! Ikuto is destroying Miki and Su! Do something!" she squeaked.

Paul saw nothing wrong in grabbing the little fairy out of the air and poking and prodding every inch of her body. "This. Is. So. Cool." He lifted her into the air, ignoring her squeaks of protest. "Pink panties, huh? How predictable…"

"Put me down, Amu!" she yelled. "I'm telling Hotori-san, and then you'll be sorry 'cuz he'll reject you for being a perv!"

"I'm not worried about men rejecting me," Paul retorted, still giving the fairy a full-body search. "And stop calling me Amu. You can call me Goshujin-sama."

"Goshujin-sama?" she said in her high-pitched voice. "Okay…But you need a Character Change right away! Have you been smoking the X Eggs again? Jeez, Amu, you definitely need a Character Change…"

"Ain't that the truth," Paul muttered. "Okay, I'll Character Change. But first…"

=**The return of the Insert Dramatic Music Here…Dun Dun Du-ACK! I just realized we're making a Shugo Chara/ Pokemon crossover! OH NO!=**

"Um…Goshujin-sama?" Ran whispered, smoothing down her erotic maid skirt that completed her cat-ear-and-tail costume, red in the face. "Is there any reasoning behind the costume?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the crashing of the waves my drool is causing. SHUT UP, DROOL!"

"Ikuto is still attacking! Miki and Su might be dead by now! I'll Character Change you, and-"

"Ahem."

"Err…May I change you, Goshujin-sama?"

Paul grinned. "Stutter more. Sound nervous."

"Mah. Mah. Mah. Mah…May I change you, Go...Goshujin-sama?" she said dully.

"That's better."

Ran sighed. "I'm not here to satisfy your creepy fetishes, you know. Anyway, Character Change!"

"My very own heart, Unlock!" Paul shouted, pointing his finger at the sky. He was engulfed in a white light as Ran rolled her eyes.

Dawn, the queen of awkward situations, chose that moment to burst in and gasp. "Whoa! Paul? This is the girls locker room! Let me guess, you found a tiny Lolicon fairy and…Hey, Paul, why do you look like a Lolicon all of a sudden? And why am I making another woman's instinct joke? Why am I breaking the Fourth Wall by asking you why we're making a Shugo Chara and Pokemon crossover? Why is the Fourth Wall so hard to break? Why do women ask so many questions? Are you sexist? I think you're sexist…"

"I keep getting stuck on the Third," Ran said conversationally.

"That pesky Third Wall…"

But the conversation was short-lived, seeing how Paul was now wearing a pink costume with pink pompoms and a pink headband, covered in hearts.

"Oh…my…god…" Paul whispered. "This…is…_MY DREAM_!"

"No fair!" Dawn shouted. "That's my dream! You heartless dream-stealer!"

"So, person who is not Amu," Ran said, balancing her new glasses that Paul had forced her to wear. "What will you do now that you're athletic and truthful?"

Paul noticed the obligatory anime sunset and yawned. "I'm going back to bed."

"Wait!" Dawn protested. "Nothing even happened yet! The day was way too short to end now!"

"And?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Wow…I'm not sure where this leaves us."

"Look, Dawn, I will explain this to you," Paul mused. "In anime, Pokemon especially, a sunset either means that two friends are leaving each other forever even though they promise themselves they'll meet once again yet never do and are instantaneously forgotten by one another and the rest of the world except for the main characters…or the day is over."

"Well…That pretty much sums it up," Ran agreed. "Well…See you soon, Goshujin-sama."

"No you won't," Paul sneered. Suddenly Paul sprouted wings and flew away, meeting up with all his homies in the sky.

**A/N: I can't think of a better place to end the chapter. =grins evilly= Thanks go out to all my buddies! ~Furyfur**


End file.
